Jim Donovan (the voice of The Snworb): "Hade, remind us how the game went."

Hade Joen: "Oh, you mean this 2016 Week 12 game that just finished? Well, Jim, it was classic Snworb football. We came in knowing the Giants would test our secondary, but I made sure they'd regret it. After I picked off that pass in the second quarter and took it to the house, they pretty much stopped looking my way. Our D-line was in their backfield all game, so the Giants couldn't do much. Juke Soohnnd iced it with that 72-yard dash in the fourth. Final score: 27-13."

Cary May Tabok: "Wow, Hade, you make it sound so easy! By the way, what's your favorite food?"

Hade Joen: "Chimichangas, without a doubt. There's just something about that crispy shell and the melty cheese inside. You get one of those with some extra guac, and it's like a touchdown in your mouth."

Groni Tossy: "Hade, this is your first post-game interview this season. What kept you away from the spotlight? It's not like you to stay quiet."

Hade Joen: "You know how it is - sometimes the spotlight just gets crowded with these other big personalities. I'm not scheming my way into the White House like Tar Llodem, or helicoptering in the sky like Cown McJosh. I was just hanging back, letting the others have their moment."

Cary May Tabok: "Some of the guys joke that footballs are magnetically attracted to your hands. What's your secret?"

Hade Joen: "Secret? No secret, just a lot of practice... and maybe the football gods like chimichangas too."

Jim Donovan (the voice of The Snworb): "You've got quite the legacy with the Joen family - being the oldest of five brothers, all of whom ended up playing for The Snworb. How's it feel to carry that torch?"

Hade Joen: "If you check your notes, I think you'll see that hasn't happened yet, Jim."

Cary May Tabok: "Hade, some fans have pointed out that you've been missing for parts of past seasons, especially in 2012. What happened?"

Hade Joen: "Cary May, that's classified. Let's just say I was dealing with matters that were... beyond the gridiron. But I'm back now, and I'm here to make sure The Snworb stay on top."

Groni Tossy: "Hade, is this just a lazy game recap and character lore dump in the form of a post-game interview?"

Hade Joen: "Man, I'm just here so I don't get financially penalized!"

Advance Regress