Yo Rye!
Rye Tulport answers your Snworb questions

Yo Rye, how did the Snworb manage such a dominant performance against the Cowboys? Was it all about strategy or were the Cowboys just having an off day?

Well, dear Sentinel, it was both and more! Coach Jack Hueson had the team firing on all cylinders, and Dr. Hartwell told me the Cowboys maximized their subjective pre-game gravity by flying into town at exactly the wrong time. But let's not diminish the Snworb's execution. Every play was a symphony, every player a maestro. The Cowboys never stood a chance!

Yo Rye, how come Tho Jomas spent most of the game on the bench?

Coach must have seen something he didn't like. After McCown got up woozy in the first quarter, Jomas didn't see the field again. Granted it was a late hit, but that was still his man to block.

Yo Rye, what was the highlight of the game for you?

Ah, there were many, but if I had to choose, it was Hovin Kegan's jaw-dropping 75-yard touchdown run. He looked like he was channeling the speed of Flash Jordon and the power of Jack'D Qwellson.

Yo Rye, do you think we could loan the Snworb defense to Angos Ryling? He could use some help shutting Tar Llodem down!

Now there’s an idea! Our defense was a wall the Cowboys couldn't climb, and I’m sure they’d love to help keep Llodem out of the end zone - or the Oval Office! Send this fan some snow pants!

Yo Rye, what's the deal with Bernie Kosar endorsing Tar Llodem for President? I thought Bernie was all about the Snworb!

Wait, isn't this the sports page? OK, one more politics question seeing as the election is almost upon us.

Bernie endorsing Llodem - it's the riddle of the season! While I can't claim to know Bernie's mind, my best guess is he's playing multidimensional chess. Perhaps Bernie thinks endorsing Llodem will keep him close enough to monitor and counteract his schemes. It could be a classic case of "keep your friends close, but your enemies closer." But maybe Bernie sees a silver lining in Llodem’s storm of rhetoric that the rest of us haven't. Whatever the reason, let's trust Bernie has the Snworb's best interests at heart, even if his moves seem puzzling right now.

Yo Rye, with the holidays coming up, what’s the best gift for a Snworb fan?

Glad you asked! If you’re looking to score big with a longtime Snworb fan, how about gifting them a copy of my book? Winning Drive: How The Snworb Set Themselves Up To Succeed offers an in-depth look at our beloved team's rise to glory, perfect for fans who want to relive the pivotal moments of our history. Of course, I'm working on a new book about the recent success, too, but here's hoping I still have lots to write about after the holidays are over this year!

And how about this? For asking a question practically begging me to plug my book: send that fan some snowpants!

Advance Regress